This year is big in many ways, one of it being my big 3-0. I can’t believe it’s here, I can’t believe it’s come. And because 30 is a milestone in one’s life, I’ve decided to do a daily reflection on this past decade – my 20s – for 30 days up until my birthday on July 19th. The goal is to purify my mind, body and soul so that I can enter 30 whole and renewed.
1. It’s okay to ask for help
There are times in our lives where we not only need help, but need to ask for help. We need to reach out to reach in. Fighting a battle alone leads nowhere, and only makes us weaker because some battles are just too big. I know that often times, our pride or shame inhibits us from asking for help, but it must not. So ask for help when you need to. You’ll be glad you did later.
How am I supposed to fight for your kingdom when I can’t even fight myself? I’ve finally admitted it – I can’t do it alone. I can’t overcome this by myself. I need your help. Despite a great fall, Lord, I know where I can’t, you can. Have mercy on my soul. A few mornings ago, I heard you…peace I leave with you, peace I give to you – not as the world gives do I give it to you. Help me possess that unwavering peace again Lord. Help me because I can’t help myself. Actually, despite being so far away and being down here in the pits, I sense you reaching for me. I sense you saving me despite being undeserving of it. You’ve brought Rufus back into my life, who had been one of my greatest spiritual warriors, you brought Leslie and Myrna here during the eye of my storm, you’re sending the big bang away…I sense you because why would all this be happening at such an opportune moment? Where I need it to happen the most? I am still trying to determine what all this means…why did you really bring me to Japan? To conquer myself? Save me Lord, save me from myself. Amen.