22. Communicate What You Want
So much of my energy in my 20s was wasted on expecting people to just know what I want. They should just know, I would tell myself. Long story short, I later realized that all those times I said this were misplaced expectations because guess what? Bottom line is people aren’t a bunch of Jean Greys where they can read your mind. People can’t read minds! So if something is bothering you, say so! If something made you happy, express it! If you’re confused, ask! It took me awhile to adopt this mentality though because I often harped about what people would think of me if I was honest, but I realized that it’s better to be honest to people and yourself than begin to harbor bad feelings – potentially creating unnecessary tension. From my experience, doing this means staying silent and bottling everything up until one day, you explode. By communicating things early on, you avoid such an explosion. For example, does it bother you that your spouse or significant other isn’t asking about your day? Tell him/her that it bothers you and ask if they can start asking about your day. So, always communicate what you want – it helps you as much as it helps others.
Sacred Heart Basilica in Paris, France