Begin Again

Lord,

As I reflect on this year, I’ve come to find that sometimes the hardest person to forgive is…yourself. With the year of mercy coming to a close, I am trying to be merciful to myself, especially during this advent season, so that I can fully receive you with an open and eager heart when you come. Thinking about how weak I really am, how I fail in my duties, how easily I fall and get caught up with the world and all its temporary pleasures, I can’t help but feel unworthy. How can I be called a true follower when I am failing to follow? But as I stare at you now both in your suffering and redeemed state after having confessed, I also can’t help but feel a sense of hope for it is this very weak nature of humanity that you gave your life the way you did – for true love of us. Again and again, you’ve reminded the faithful during your presence on earth thousands of years ago and through the spirit that it is not the magnitude of the fall that defines us, but the magnitude of atonement in which restores us so that we can rise again. I really am sorry Lord for all that I’ve failed to do…I know mistakes are inevitable – that is being human after all – but I pray that I’ve come out of this stronger and truly wiser; that no matter how many times I fall, to keep getting up and to not relinquish; to continue fighting for your kingdom despite my earthly limitations. The church after all isn’t a castle for saints, but a hospital for sinners. Today, with a renewed sense of hope, I strive to begin again…interesting isn’t it Lord? At the start of this year, I endeavored to make this year’s concept “Begin Again” (a la #StTeresaofAvila) not fully knowing what that would entail. It almost feels prophetic because despite the chaos of this year, I suppose it had to unravel the way it did to truly reify that concept; to really teach me what it means to rebuild. So here I am…in all my brokenness and imperfections…merciful…joyful…humbled and grateful…may the spirit of this season truly redirect my focus on you Lord as I await your coming. May this season truly help me to genuinely start over…to truly help me…#BeginAgain

#Advent #Adventus #Mattew1128

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1 Comment

  1. Beautiful post! Thanks for the reflection! Looking forward to hearing where the Lord leads you next. Happy Advent!

    On Mon, Dec 5, 2016 at 2:16 AM, Chives Richards wrote:

    > chivesrichards posted: “Lord- as I reflect on this year, I’ve come to find > that sometimes the hardest person to forgive is…yourself. With the year > of mercy coming to a close, I am trying to be merciful to myself, > especially during this advent season, so that I can fully receiv” >

    Like

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