Blessed Longing

Dear God,

I love this: blessed longing. It’s one of the biggest factors to the strength of my belief in Christianity, in Jesus Christ. It calls to mind some of Laura Story’s lyrics from her song “Blessings”:

What if our greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy? 

And then, of course, those immortal words from St. Augustine in his book Confessions:

Our hearts are restless until it rests in you.

I’ve known the heights of worldly pleasures, but none have ever given me the depths of peace I have come to know through Jesus Christ. I find myself always writing about my profound thirst for acceptance by the world, validation from people in hopes that it would instill a sense of belonging and happiness, and how Jesus redirects my thirst for Him alone through whom I find true happiness, but it’s because I cannot mention enough how all this has changed my life. How my pursuit of Jesus has literally saved my life. Thus, I can’t help but imagine how life would be different if I didn’t believe in a God; how awful it must be to resort to the notion that life is nothing more than a random accident, a result of blind natural forces; that all the love and pain and longing are all just a bunch of biochemical responses…perhaps I would’ve taken my life by now…what would’ve been the point, right? Instead, through Him, I was not met with confirmed worthlessness, but a worthiness so profound, so incomprehensible that He gave his life…in exchange for mine! In my deepest sorrows, when I desire so much to relinquish instead, I can never find myself completely losing hope because of this alone. 

This life isn’t over. There’s so much yet to be experienced; so many more mountains to climb; so much more heartaches and misery to be known. So much more longing to undergo. I know that sometimes I will succumb to longing for earthly pleasures, for things of a transient nature – I am human after all – but I believe my ulimtate longing is for something this world has never and could ever satisfy – the eternal joy Christ promises in heaven. This is what blessed longing means to me. 

Dona nobis pacem. 

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